Low Energy/ High Stakes

For some reason that I cannot explain, I woke up this morning with absolutely no energy.

I got the opportunity to sleep in a bit because I was slated to attend an all day meeting, versus being in the classroom today. It was a BLESSING that I cannot even put into words. On a regular work day, I wake up at 4:40am, get to school by 6am, walk 2 miles within my school building, take some time to do some more lesson planning, and then receive students at 7:15am. My days are long, often ending no earlier than 7pm almost every night. I’m always tired- always- but the positive side effect of ADHD is that I think that I can do all the things. So being able to sleep in until 7am this morning should have been a dream come true… yet as soon as I stepped out of the house, I could feel that I was not ok.

The past 10 days have been the most exhausting days of the year. I try not to be political in anything that I share publicly but as a Black educator, I am directly impacted by the Executive Orders that have come from the White House. My heart aches as I think about the impact that one person’s actions and beliefs can have on billions of people (the world, not just America). I am exhausted. I am exhausted with barrage of media reports and the fact that I cannot enjoy anything without hearing about devastating news. And, if I’m being honest, the concerns of this nation are continuously weighing down on me and I felt it all this morning when I woke up.

However, I am an educator; I must show up.

When we as educators make the decision to actually be educators, we knew that we were signing up for difficult days ahead. Between the yearly training related to Avoid, Deny, Defend (A.D.D.) and all of the other information that comes out, reminding us that it is our job to protect students from themselves and other danger. When we sign our contract to be educators, we are also signing an unspoken agreement to put the lives and best interest of our students above our own needs. We are often not afforded the luxury of being tired, fed up, or overwhelmed because our colleagues need us and our students need us more. We must show up physically- because there are no subs- and we must show up emotionally. So today, much like every other day since I entered this field, I washed off the feelings of exhaustion and plastered the face of someone who could handle everything all at once. Educators are EXHAUSTED but we still show up.

Educators, we cannot continue like this any longer. While the stakes are higher today than they’ve ever been before, we still have to show up for ourselves.

CONSIDER THIS: The only way that we will be able to ensure longevity in this field (and in our life in general) is if we pace ourselves now. We have to take those mental health days. We have to love on ourselves above whatever our district is doing for us. We have to rest- mentally, physically, and emotionally. With that reality, take some time today to do something solely for you- not your family or your students- simply for you.